Posted by: thedianestory | February 20, 2014

I Wonder…

February 20, 2014

I’m opening up my archives and sharing some of my work. Things I’ve worked on and worked through. This poem reflects on some hard times in my life. I trust God to use my life for him.

I Wonder

I wonder if they knew my dreams
And saw them break that day?
I wonder if they heard my screams
Not knowing what to say?

Where do I run?
How can I hide?
What will end the pain the fastest?
My thoughts swirled me inside.

No one to turn to.
Not sure what to do.
Surely my worst fears
Could not be coming true.

What most don’t get –
The true reality at best,
Is that the hurt lies deep within
And time doesn’t take care of the rest.

Life remains affected
Things will never be the same.
Kids suffer the consequences
I think it’s pretty lame.

Life moved on all around
No matter which direction I turned
And now the things I carry
Are the lessens that I’ve learned.

I hope they know I love them
And that I always will
But part of me broke that day
And the hurt is with me still.

I tried to break the cycle
To make a family win
But I failed at that too –
Cursed from generational sin.

I wonder if things were different
So many years ago
If life today would have changed
Producing a different show.

But we can’t change the past
So I deal with what I’ve got.
Praying to God for a family –
Just give me one more shot.


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