Posted by: thedianestory | March 18, 2013

Endometriosis + Mental Impact

March 18, 2013

Mental Impact

Having Endometriosis for any period of time can easily mess with your mind. Fighting Endo for more than half your life – is sure to warp reality.

Let’s do a little comparison of thoughts, shall we?

My mind: I’m such a loser because I can’t do “xyz” because I hurt so bad.

Reality: I’m a fighter who never gives up. Even if I am limited sometimes on what I can do.

My mind: my friends will be mad at me because I had to cancel our plans…AGAIN.

Reality: my true friends hurt when I hurt and just want to see me get better.

My mind: I’ve lost the ability to live out my dreams.

Reality: sometimes we just have to dream new dreams.

I could go on and on. But the point is that through chronic illness you fight so many lies, because you are so sick and defeated. It’s easy to become depressed and want to just pull the covers over your head.

You often don’t have the energy to go out of the house and do things. And no one around seems encouraging whether you do get out and do something or don’t.
Many times when I get out and do something, I hear “oh that must mean you’re feeling better.” But the truth is, often times I’m just pushing myself to do something. Those same people don’t understand if I were out say on a Friday night, but then Saturday morning I felt awful and couldn’t do something. Then I hear “but you were out last night!” To which my response is always “yep. And I used up all my spoons (energy reserve) to do so.
This is why I say no one is happy either way. Because they don’t get it if I just have to stay home instead of being active, but those same people also aren’t happy if I make one activity one evening but not the other one the next day. This is why I am making it my mission to educate people on chronic illness – especially those illnesses that I am personally affected by.

I could go on, but this post is already a week late, so I’m going to post as it is. Stay tuned for my next post on the social impact of Endo.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. i totally relate. i’ve gone from nearly passed out with pain, to smiling and acting like nothing is wrong, and back to bed in a short span. you do what you need (or, sometimes, want) to do. chronic pain patients simply learn how….although it often means “paying” later with a flare….

    a doc recently told me that i didn’t look like i was in as much pain as i reported since i made good eye contact! i mentioned this to Pain Shrink…definitely one of the times i could see him working to constrain his anger at how clueless/rude/insensitive/etc some medical professionals can be!

    • when I was in the ER for my bowel obstruction last summer, the nurse commented on how composed I look considering I was reporting so much pain and I asked her, “Would you prefer me to curl up in the fetal position in the floor? Will it make things move faster by crying hysterically?” She said, “Good point.” Even medical professionals don’t get it sometimes.

      • I’d be so angry if they said that to me!

    • Yep. I often times feel like I need to “pretend” to be dramatic with certain medical professionals or else they just don’t seem to get it.

      When I was going through my divorce, we had to go to mediation. My lawyer was present with me when the mediator said that I didn’t look as bad as what we were claiming. (I had my hair and makeup done and dressed up). My lawyer said “fine. Next time she will come in sweats, no make-up, and greasy hair. Will that work better for you?” I loved that my lawyer “got it”.

  2. The Enemy is most definitely good at feeding us these type of lies and so easy to start believing them! I have always struggled with finding my self-worth in pleasing others vs finding my worth in my Creator so I have definitely found myself in this trap (Robert McGee’s Search for Significance is an amazing book).

    • Thanks Jamie. It’s such a struggle. I will check out that book!

  3. To those who read this should understand and be a support instead of making wrong comments.

    Be thankful for what you have in life and that you can do things when you want to. Remember to call that person rather than always asking the person who is with them 24/7 as it means more than the person going home and saying so and so asked about you. Pick up the phone or sending a card means so much more.

    Just be an encouragement to the person who is ill and the caregiver.

    Love you so much.
    Mom

    • Love you too!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: