Posted by: thedianestory | October 25, 2010

Stanford – Part 1

October 24, 2010

Tomorrow morning I have an appointment at the Digestive Health Clinic at Stanford Medical Center. My mom and I drove down here to Menlo Park today, since my appointment is early in the morning and it is a five hour drive for us to get down here. I have been very ill recently again struggling with my stomach problems. I spent five days in the hospital at the beginning of this month with no answers and lots of frustrations. Long story short I was released from the hospital and ended up meeting with my family doctor to make a plan and it was decided that the best option was for me to be sent to Stanford to see if the doctors down here would have any better ideas as to how to help me.

I am kind of walking into the unknown in the morning. I am not sure what to expect. I have no idea if they will end up admitting me to the hospital down here, scheduling outpatient testing or look at me like I am crazy and tell me they don’t know how to help me. At this point I am on so many medications that the medications are starting to cause even more problems than they are a help and I keep trying to tell the doctors that they need to stop trying to treat the symptoms and start trying to actually figure out what the source of my pain/digestion issue is.

I am so tired of being questioned as to whether or not all of this is real or if I am just doing all of this for attention, or if some of this is just pain signals being exagerrated. To this I would love to say that don’t know what 28 year old would want to live this life. Who in their right mind would want to lay in bed and not have a life? I’d love to know how I could ever fake being in the amounts of pain I am in every two hours and fake being nauseated so bad that I puke practically everyday. I would love to know how I could possibly fake turning white as a ghost and having my blood pressure drop dangerously low. And why would a doctor give me the huge amounts of pain meds I am on if I am not actually sick? I am so over people thinking this is in my head – it is not even funny.

What I would give to live a “normal” life. What my dreams and aspirations are. To serve God first and foremost. To be able to live my life serving God working with children would be amazing. I have dreams too. Most of which I have seen slip away from me, while I have been sick and in pain; all the while dealing with skepticism from people as to whether or not all of this is real. I am exausted and tired of being questioned. This is real people. There is no way I could even begin to fake what I go through on a daily basis. Come spend 48hrs with me and then you may begin to see/re-think what I go through or what your perceptions of me are.

In the end, I answer to God alone and I will keep clinging to that. But some of you wanted an update and because I am tired gave you a bit more too. 🙂

Advertisements

Responses

  1. I love you & I’m here for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t help drive you there and be with you tomorrow. Let me know as soon as you know something! And you can always text or call me before the appointment too, if you are anxious or whatever.
    Love Always,
    K

  2. Diane, I’m sure you’ve thought of everything possible where your health issues are concerned. I had a sister that had endometriosis but she never had pain like nor the symptoms you are describing. Which makes me wonder that you may have an allergy to food which your digestive system cannot tolerate. Have you considered this? Glueten (wheat), dairy are culprits for many people. They cause fatigue, can cause pain and a person can be nauseated.

    Also, my daughter has IBS which also experiences some of the symptoms you’re describing. Have you thought about that?
    I sent my daughter to a Naturopathic Physician to discover if she had any major allergies. She didn’t and we finally concurred that many of her symptoms are aggravated by stress.

    Just a couple of ideas .. I have more if any of this reasonates.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: