Posted by: thedianestory | November 20, 2008

Tonight’s Feelings

November 19, 2008

This is me at my Dad's last year

This is me at my Dad's last year

I am going in for my surgery in the morning. I have weird feelings about it. You will only understand what I am about to write if you know me well. Perhaps some others may understand it, but I am not sure. I feel anxious, nervous and weird about tomorrow. If this procedure works (and I am thinking optimistically) then it should stop the pain instantly. It is so odd to think that I may not be laying here in pain tomorrow night. Of course this is what I want. It is just that this has become such a way of life for me, and I have had to learn to program my life around it, that the thought of being able to do more and not having pain is so weird to me. I limit my activities and how often I hang out with people, what I eat, and several other things, that it will seem abnormal to not have to think about life with that mindset. If I feel good and can do “normal” outings like “normal” people, what will that be like? You mean I may wake up and be able to instantly get up, not having to set the alarm early to allow myself to take a pain pill and lay there for another 20-30 minutes? You mean I can safely drive out of town by myself without the fear of becoming faint? I can run and go work-out without the fear of the pain I will feel after? Hmm. It is just odd. But if this procedure works, I will be a new person. Wow.

Please pray this works everyone. I know God is watching over me. I really think this is my time. Thank you Jesus for EVERY season you have taken me through, for I am who I am because of every road I have walked. And you Jesus, have been faithful to carry me, and I know you are with me now. I love you.



  1. Great job honey. I am praying that this really works for you. You deserve to have a life to do the things a young person should. It will be great to call you and you are up and at’em. Wow what a concept. I really hope all goes well and I will be there for you. See you in a few hours. Love you lots. MOM

  2. Diane,
    Can you remember the days before the pain was so great? You had ENERGY!!!! Amazing energy and are a charismatic person. It will be good to see YOU again.

    Of course, you will have to find your way on this new adventure of your life. You will learn to pace yourself for your own life’s needs, and your husband’s too.

    That is part of the adventure of it all. I am looking forward to seeing you come back up out of this pain pit. I am praying so much that this IS your time. Your Nate needs that, too as much as you do and we care about him, too.

    Love you so much, honey.
    Isn’t it great to see your mommy on here? I’m LOVIN’ IT!

  3. Thanks Shelley. I am looking forward to being me. It is hard to recall what “pain free” actually is. But I know the person I enjoyed here and throughout my pain when I felt decent and I so want that back.

    I love having mommy on here. It is so nice! I just have to show her around the blog a bit more and get her more set up!

    Love you. You off work again today? I forget?

  4. I am here for you when it’s over no matter the outcome! We are praying!

  5. i love you diane.
    please get well…
    i feel aweful for you!
    hope you have a speedy recovery!

    love you always,

  6. Em!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You brought a smile to my face when I saw your message. Seriously you brightened my night. I love you! Thanks for your prayers sweetie. Keep in touch and I will keep you posted!

    Love you,

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