Posted by: thedianestory | October 11, 2008

Kind of Humbling

Tonight I was forced into an experience that made me a bit humbled. Most of you who know me know that I often think a lot about what people think of me. Many of you know that I don’t like to have people over to my house unless it is picked up and clean. In my current circumstances this does not happen often – the clean house part.

I have always tried to keep a clean house, picked up, things in their places, and smelling nice. Because I am so ill right now I don’t get to clean often. My poor husband has been picking up a lot lately. I feel bad cause I know the mess stresses him out and he works and goes to school full time, so his spare time is precious. Anyway, I wish I could clean more.

Well tonight Nate was shooting a video with a guy from church and his sister. After they were done shooting footage for the video they came back here to finish stuff up. Of course my husband was respectful of me and asked if I minded if they came in and used the back room to finish up. It’s not that I minded them coming over….it’s that I minded how I looked and how my house looked. But I was forced to let people see me and all my imperfections. I was forced to let people see how me being sick affects my life.

Most of you know how hard I try to carry on life as normal and not let people really see what happens when I am this ill. Well, tonight I had to let all that go and let these two people, who I know, but don’t really *know* into my home and see me for me, and all that is happening right now. Of course they were super sweet after I kept apologizing about my house and they kept telling me it’s okay and how they are praying for me and really hope I can make it to church on Sunday. Anyway, all this to say that it was a humbling experience to not be able to have perfection in front of people that I would normal be aiming to please so much.

It makes me think about God’s relationship with us. See, we can come before God with all of our imperfections. We don’t have to be perfect to come to God. He loves us with all the imperfections, all the ugliness and all the sin in our lives. God just wants us to be his children. He wants us the way we are and he will start doing a good work to make us better people. I think tonight was a reminder from God to me of his love for me. I needed that tonight. Thank you Jesus. Sometimes it’s those God-Wink moments.

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Responses

  1. I hear you on this one love. I am sorry that you had to miss church this morning…I missed you…YOU WERE MISSED! I thought of you as I am sure many did and I prayed for you! I hope that you are resting and remembering how LOVED you are even from a far. You are such a strong girl, but sometimes you are sooo right we need to be reminded to just let all the “front” things go and know that we are loved right where we are at! I am proud of the way that you handled things sweet friend. Know that I am thinking of you. Cool massage in your latest lesson love. It is sooo special when we can take everyday things and see Gods hand or be shown new things even in our weakness and at HOME…HE is there!

  2. Thanks Moll. I just try to remember that God is here with me, even when I can’t feel so close to him being at church and stuff. Thanks for your encouragement sweet friend. Love to you.

  3. Your place is still clean compared to ours. Hope you have a better day today.
    DaddyReg


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