Posted by: thedianestory | April 12, 2016

A Peek Inside My Head

I have been through a lot through the years with my health. One would think that I am used to doctors and poking and prodding…and I am to a certain extent, but that doesn’t mean that it still doesn’t affect me. It does. There are days and times that it affects me more than others. Some days/appointments I am prepared for anything and I do not let it phase me. There are others when I hear “come across the hall, we’re going to move rooms; doctor wants to do an exam” that send me into a tailspin. Usually not right there on the spot. In the moment I play “Super Diane,” put a smile on my face and graciously say “Okay.”

It is after the appointment that I start to fall apart. Tired of the poking, the prodding, of one more invasive exam. So desperately wishing I could hide out for awhile and wishing that magically everything would be okay. I try to reward myself after appointments with something fun. Some treat I’d like to have, a small purchase off my “wish list” or a nice drive out in the country. Something to overcome the drudgery that my doctor visits have become.

This past week I developed a blood clot after some injections I had to have ruptured a blood vessel. I knew instantly something was wrong. Daily appointments to check on me, personal phone calls from my doctor and five days on bed rest brought the good news that the clot reabsorbed itself. But I am having lasting spasms where the injections were, along with nausea and lethargy. I am longing to feel like myself again. While I daily live with chronic pain and illness, this past week has been the icing on the cake, and it isn’t sweet! I don’t want to have to “bug” my doctor again, even though he has assured me I am not bugging him and he will see me through this. But if I am not feeling more like myself in the next 24 hours, then I probably won’t have a choice, because I can tell that something still isn’t right. I should not be this tired with residual pain still. I attempted to put myself together this evening and go out. I got as far as getting myself ready to go, and then landed back on the couch in the fetal position. I am tired of pain and tired of being tired.

That is my update for now. It’s more for me than anything, but thought I would post it just in case anyone was wondering if this blog was going to cease to exist. I will be back!

Posted by: thedianestory | September 10, 2015

Chronic Illness

September 10, 2015

So I’ve been absent again from the blog. I actually have so many fun things I should write to share. But right this moment I need to write about illness. As I’m struggling and it’s on my heart. Here’s my thoughts…

Umm. So I’ve had an extremely rough night. I’ve barely slept. Hurting from head to toe. So confused as to what to do. Chronic Illness is a huge battle. If a “normal” person felt this way they’d absolutely call/go into their dr. But for patients like me, we pretty much just hunker down and try to fight thru it, knowing your dr will be little to no help. It’s super hard to have multiple issues going on at once, waiting for specialist appointments, and in the meantime trying to just see your primary care physician and explain your every ache and pain and just wanting some help getting relief. 

Right now I’m in a constant state of stomach pain and nausea, and about 90% of the time in severe pelvic pain from the endometriosis and interstitial cystitis. And then now I’m having a whole body flare of pain from head to toe (possible fibromyalgia or RA).

When you have this much pain going on you literally can’t sleep and it’s just easier to get back up and try to keep your mind busy and distracted from every pain. I’ve taken all the meds I can for now with little relief. 

I say all of this not for attention, but to hopefully open people’s minds to others suffering. It’s my hope that my story can help healthy people support and understand those less fortunate (health-wise) and bring support and encouragement to others walking through health trials as well. 

I’m off now to attempt for some more rest. 

Posted by: thedianestory | August 4, 2015

It’s August!

Happy August! Seriously though, how in the world is it August already? Summer has flown by and I can hardly believe that soon we will be ushering in the Fall season. But before we race too far ahead, let me tell you the highlight of my summer! That would have to be visiting my brother, his wife, and my most precious nephew!

  
I’m currently flying home after spending two weeks in Michigan with them. Getting a good stent of concentrated time with my nephew, Dray, was awesome. I did what any good aunty does…spoiled him rotten. 😄 But also took my share of nightly feedings, nap time readings, and solid food feedings and all that good stuff. I loved the precious moments with Dray and enjoyed letting his mama get some extra sleep while I was visiting. My mom was out on the trip with me, so of course grandma got her special time too and took her share of nighttime routines as well. (Truth is, we secretly enjoyed the extra snuggles in the night, when the house is quiet.)

  

All of us adults enjoyed playing rousing games of Hand and Foot, Canasta, and Dutch Blitz each evening after the baby went down for his sleep. We can never get enough of games and often sacrifice hours of sleep each night to play “just one more hand!”

  
Life is good! I had a blast, and can’t wait until we are back together again.

   
    
    
    
 

Posted by: thedianestory | July 17, 2015

Miles to Michigan

It’s July 16th. Nearly seven months since my precious nephew, Dray, was born. I got to see him for a few days in March when my mom and I met up with the family in San Diego, but now it’s been almost four months since we have seen him and that is just far too long! 

  
  
But that’s about to change, because I’m currently on an airplane, sitting next to my mom, and we are headed to Michigan! Move over everyone…Aunty and grandma are coming! Prepare for a spoiling overload and lots of picture perfect cuteness to come!

Posted by: thedianestory | June 24, 2015

Hello Again…

June 24, 2015

I’ve been silent for many months here on the blog and I keep trying to figure out why, if I love writing so much, why do I have this long hiatus of writing? I have yet to figure out the full answer but a big part of it is this: life is so crazy busy, that by the end of the day when I have space to be quiet and think, my brain capacity to write a thoughtful post just isn’t there. But I’m trying. Going to try to get back into the swing of things. 

At the beginning of May my mom had foot surgery for a torn Achilles’ tendon and because of this can’t walk for twelve weeks. She’s getting around on this:

  

So this has left me with taking care of her. The bulk of everything for both our lives is on me. This would be difficult on anyone, let alone on me, who is struggling still with health issues and procedures of my own. I’ve still been working part-time, doing Girl Scouts and attempting to “keep my head above water.” 

  
I promise you that my head space is filled with thoughts I want to spew out on paper and share with the world. I just need to figure out how to make it happen again. I hope you will stick with me. I’ve missed my blogging world! Drop me a line in the comments and say hello!

Posted by: thedianestory | March 28, 2015

And the Winners Are…

Hello ladies! A big thanks to everyone who participated in our give-away. And a huge thank you to our sponsor, Seaview Jewellery. They graciously donated a beautiful necklace and charms to give away to you awesome folks! The charms can be put on a keychain or zipper pull as well as a variety of other places. 

Congratulations to Mellisa Mosey for winning this amazing necklace:

 

Congrats to Vicki Shiger for winning this charm:

  

And congrats to Jenny Sanchez for winning this charm:

  

Please message me your address and your prize will be mailed to you!

Don’t forget to link up with us on Monday for our final give-aways.  Seaview Jewellery is once again donating items as well as our other business sponsors FJJ Creations and Tabatha’s Creations

We look forward to wrapping up one more incredible year of blogging for Endo Awareness! 

Posted by: thedianestory | March 23, 2015

The Stigma

  

This week’s link-up for Endometriosis Awareness Month is “If there is one thing I could change about the stigma of Endo, it would be…”.


The stigma I’d like to see changed is that Endometriosis is all in our heads. Often, because our illness isn’t visible, people somehow think that we are making up the severity of our symptoms. They think that our symptoms are just “severe PMS” or “terrible cramps.” Therefore the assumption is that those of us that are literally crippled from our pain, are somehow making up the symptoms. I am truly “Sick of It.” Sick of people thinking I am making up my issues from Endometriosis. Sick of people insinuating that I am using my illness as an excuse to get out of commitments in life. And sick of people talking about me and my illness behind my back.

I truly, truly wish that this stigma of Endometriosis not being a real, viable disease would end. I want nothing more in life than to be able to live with no pain, have a family, work full-time in my dream job of teaching, and becoming a mom who could actually feel well enough to be with my kids on every adventure. Trust me when I say that this disease is real. Just because you can’t see it, does NOT mean that it doesn’t exist.

I am excited to announce that this week’s linkup post also includes a giveaway! One of our business sponsors, Seaview Jewellery, has graciously donated a beautiful necklace and charms to give away to you awesome folks! The charms can be put on a keychain or zipper pull as well as a variety of other places. This week there will be 3 winners (one will win the necklace and two others will win charms). Look at these beautiful creations:

  

 

 

 

 

To enter the giveaway, leave a comment telling me what stigma about endometriosis (or chronic illness in general) that you would like to see changed (mandatory)!

For an extra entry, tweet this post and then leave a comment letting me know that you did with a link to your tweet!

This giveaway will run through Friday, March 27th! You can also visit Jamee’s blog for additional giveaways courtesy of Seaview Jewellery! Next week’s linkup will also feature endometriosis awareness jewelry giveaways courtesy of Seaview and our other business sponsor FJJ Creations!

Don’t forget to link-up your blog post this week over on Jamee’s post via Mr.Linky! 

Posted by: thedianestory | March 12, 2015

Blogging for Endo – Week One…The Journey

March 3, 2015

It’s Endometriosis Awareness Month and my friend, Jamee, and I are kicking off our fourth annual Blogging for Endo Campaign! We use this month to raise awareness and connect with other women to share our stories and offer support. 

Please check out our website: Blogging for Endo. Here you will find our weekly blog post topic for Endo Awareness month. It’s our hope that you would share your story and link up with us each week. 

This week’s topic is about how your journey with Endometriosis has changed this past year. So here’s my thoughts:

I feel like this is the first year since being part of this campaign that I actually have more positive news regarding my journey. I’ve definitely still had my ups and downs, but feel like I’ve experienced some really positive things in life this year throughout my journey, as well. 

Right after our Blogging for Endo Campaign ended last year, I was feeling strong. And after being off work on disability for five years, finally felt like I could go back to work – but with serious part time hours. I felt The Lord speak to me one Sunday (while I was on a field trip with my Girl Scouts) about maybe working a few hours somewhere. That Thursday I received a call from my former boss, offering me a job at the company she was currently managing. I went for an interview that following week and started working the week after that. 

So…working part time has changed my journey SO much. After five years on disability, one can begin to feel very isolated and alone. Working again has given me a sense of self-worth, confidence, and has just brought such joy being able to have human interaction again. I feel like I’m so much happier. 

I am still dealing with lots of pain, and have just gotten established with a new doctor, after my old endometriosis specialist quit accepting insurance. There are days that I can’t make it to work, and days that I do push myself to work and then come home and crash. Some weeks everything else in my life aside from work suffers, because all my energy goes into making it to work, and then I have no spoons left to function. So I am currently on a journey to find a balance with it all. 

I feel like the journey is in constant motion. There are highs and many lows in a life spent battling Endo. But I continue to press on…determined to win this race. 

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” 1 Corinthians 9:24-25

Yellow Shirt Day:



Posted by: thedianestory | January 7, 2015

Dear Dray

January 5, 2014

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Today I fly home from meeting my nephew for the first time. I was there for the first twelve days of his life, and those are days that I will never forget. I’m so grateful to my brother and sis-in-love for allowing me to share these special times.

Because I will never have a biological child of my own, these first moments of seeing our bloodline carried on and being amazed at the family resemblances has been so special. My first time holding Dray will be a piece in time that I will forever treasure. He looked up at me when I first held him and it was like staring straight into my soul. The love my heart has for this little one is beyond what my words can describe. I’m the most blessed aunty ever and my heart is so full.

I love you little Danny (Dray). I can’t wait to watch you grow, teach you new things, nurture our aunty/nephew relationship and watch the world through your eyes. Most of all I pray that you would become strong and mighty in The Lord. May you come to know him as your Lord and Savior and learn that you can do all things through Him (Christ) who gives you strength.

The countdown has begun for our next visit, little buddy. Aunty Di will see you in 70 days!

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Posted by: thedianestory | January 2, 2015

Happy New Year

January 2, 2015

As I step into 2015 and reflect on last year, I find myself with much joy and hear myself telling others “2014 was literally the best year I’ve had in six years.” And it really was. The end of 2008, brought the heartache of my marriage ending literally in the blink of an eye, with no warning. 2009 was met with being put off on disability for my ongoing illness, which would turn into complete medical disability. It was also met with further health challenges and nearly a month long stay in multiple hospitals, fighting for my life, followed by two more short term stints in the hospital. 2010 continued to be a battle for answers to my health issues and more hospitalizations. 2011 was rung in with my endometriosis flaring and me finding a new doctor, whom I hoped would free me from my years of pain. A very thorough surgery led to significant findings of what was flaring my pain, but unfortunately not a complete answer or cure. 2012-2013 were what I like to call my “maintaining years” as I just floated from one doctor appointment to the next, trying to manage my symptoms since they couldn’t really find answers to fix me. I spent much of those years in bed, literally doing nothing but resting for the most part. But by the beginning of 2014 I finally felt a strength that I hadn’t felt in some time.

It was on a field trip with my girls from the Girl Scout troop I lead that I felt the Lord speak to my heart, that perhaps I may be able to work a few hours somewhere. Four days later I was offered the most amazing job for a company who was more than content to work with me, despite my illness. So at the end of April 2014 I started working 20-30 hours a month. It has been the best thing for my soul. It has given me purpose, interactions with people and a reason to fight just a little harder than I may otherwise. Sure there are still days that I just can’t push through because the pain is too much, or I am just way too exhausted to function for a day and need some extra rest. But working again has brought new joy to my soul and I am so grateful.

Life is not free of its challenges and my health is still not wonderful. I most likely will not ever be able to come off disability and return to full time work. I am still in immense amounts of pain most days, my stomach has flared something awful and I am 100% sure my endometriosis has grown back with a vengeance. The next two months are filled with doctor appointments and I am going to have fight hard to function through my current symptoms…but for the first time in several years, I can feel joy again.

The best gift of all for 2014 arrived on December 23, at 9:42pm when my beautiful, precious, amazing nephew was born:

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Danny Raymond Fisher III (known as Dray)

I became a biological aunty for the first time, and my heart is so full. He is my precious gem – the Jewel of My Heart. The first time he looked up at me was like looking straight into my soul. There are no words for the love that I feel.

So with that monumental ending to 2014, how can I not be ready for 2015? I am praying for health, peace and continued joy. I can hardly wait to see where life leads.

Thanks for sticking with me here at The Diane Story – It’s my goal to put passion and focus back into this blog, and my writing in general for that matter. And maybe just maybe, I will make progress on that goal of mine to publish a book! Stay tuned….

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